Sunday, July 8, 2012

If the Devil walked the earth..."SWYPE" would be his name!

Let me start off: (for those of you that are not familiar with "Swype")

"Swype" is a texting software program mainly used on mobile Android operating devices that enables you to slide your finger over the letters to make a word instead of "Hen Pecking" out each individual letter on a virtual keyboard.  The goal of this feature is to (supposedly) make Texting a conversation quicker and easier.

Quicker? You Betcha!
You can smear out a word at lightening speed! It's an absolutely AMAZING feature when conversations are lengthy, or when you are in a hurry!

Easier? Yes!
When I turn OFF my "Swype" and Hen Peck each letter the "old fashioned" way, it seems to take forever to write even the simplest of sentences. Not to mention, with not having any physical keys on a virtual keyboard it makes "fat fingering" (hitting the wrong letter) a common problem for me.

Sooo.... Based on those two criteria I would have to say YES! "Swype" is a GREAT program! BUT (isn't there always a "But"??) here is where the problem rears its ugly head...

Accurate? NOT SO MUCH...
First, let me say that whomever created and wrote this software program has an even better sense of humor than even *I* do!  I can totally envision a group of Masterminds sitting around having quite a few "Get this!" "If they Swype THIS word it will write THIS instead" (followed by hysterical laughter) moments. But, in all honestly, as much as I seem to HATE Swype, I would LOVE to meet this software Genius just to shake his/her hand to say "Well played...Well played..."

The joke in my Social Circle is how if you Swype something simple like: "Hi! How are you today?" on the screen will appear something totally unrelated to what you have just Swyped like: "Hi! You have a great Vagina!"  Many times over have all of us sent each other WACKY texts on accident that damn near make you *blush*!

If it only had a Brain... (Suddenly I'm doing a Wizard of Oz jig at my computer)
You would think that in this day in age with our World's rapid advancement in software technology, that this program would have the capabilities to LEARN based on your personal Swyping patterns.  Sure, there are some fine-tuning program settings that you can adjust as to if you want it to be geared more towards speed or accuracy- but it still can't "learn" your Swyping style.  Heck! I would even settle for this software to be smart enough to recognize common sentences and phrases without plopping in the strangest dictionary word EVER into its place.

For instance, just Swyping the sentence: "I have a question" writes: "I have a quatrain"

REALLY??? WHAT THE F' IS A QUATRAIN??
(Granted, being the Geek I am, I now know that a "Quatrain" is a complete poem consisting of 4 lines of verse- Betcha Didn't know that! lol!)

But WHY would the word "Quatrain" be more common then the simple English word of "Question" is my question.

Here are just a couple other examples of "Swype Speak" (it's damn near its own language! lol!):

I Swyped: "Awwee, that makes me sad". It wrote: "Awwee, that baked me dad"
I Swyped: "I'm exhausted, I keep falling a sleep" It wrote: "I'm exhausted, keep falling sheep"

If you ever want a laugh go to this website: Damn You Auto Correct it's filled with public submissions like these (that are WAY funnier than my examples) Hmm... wish I got a kick back for promoting their website! lol!

Another thing I hate about Swype is that it seems to get a "hiccup" and will put in the same wrong word EVERY time you Swype that common word.  I have a few common words that I constantly use and I have to go back and correct it prior to hitting enter- Every fricken time!  Not quite sure how that happened. Sure, I may have used the other word once or twice- but REALLY?? NOT every time I make that Swype motion.  Yes, yes.. I *could* clear out my Swype's history, but then I would lose every word I had it "acknowledge" over time and would have to start all over. I wish you could be selective, and delete individual words instead of all of the history.

All in all, even though Swype is TRULY the Devil, it HAS provided the daily grind (we call life) with some rather unexpected humor.  Us, everyday users have come to terms with our "Swype Speak" and are getting rather good at deciphering its messed up language.

Now just don't get me started on Swype's Devilish partner in crime called "Speech to text"- that's a whole other Demon... It too is loaded with idiosyncrasies.  One day while using it, I basically told someone I wanted to "Hook up with their Facebook".  Grrr.....Not cool.... :)



   










  

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