Some days I just want to say: "I give"

There are some days I just want to toss in the towel. I often ponder where my drive comes from. What truly keeps me going? Is it my passion for learning? My passion for animals? Is it because I'm finally living my dream?

I wonder why I don't give up. Just about everyone I meet wonders how I do it. Even though I don't work outside the home anymore, I do have my hands full with an always on the go 2 year old, a demanding (expected) teenage girl, and the mid size zoo I seem to run here.

My motto around here seems to be "it's always something".

If it is not for my pride and joy of a horse injuring itself on fence that I should have taken down years ago. (now there is a learning curve)

Or the other horse escaping non stop (3 times now in the past week).

Or the Clydesdale's fat ass wrecking the chain link fencing we just bought and put up.

Or the winged rats (AKA: DAMN CHICKENS!) that keep ruining my landscaping on a daily basis.

Or how bout the 2 month old kitten that took a leak on my new couch (at which I happened to sit in).

Or the pig that developed a infectious illness a week before the fair (which is actually transmittable to humans too).

Or my best cat that got run over by a car (all because I was mad at it for peeing in the house so I tossed it outside).

Or my daughter's best show chickens that suddenly kick off overnight without reason.

Or finally purchasing my first ram lamb for my breeding program. Only to learn that it was never weaned off the ewe and didn't know how to eat solid foods. Only to have starve to death and die - no matter what I tried.

Or it's brother that was just as nice looking that became my daughter's market lamb- Wishing every day that we didn't "whack the nuts off it" making it non breed able.

Or like yesterday, I look out the back door only to see one of my ewes wearing its water bucket around its neck. (just another thing that I have to stop what I am doing to go deal with)

Or the ever rising cost of feed that prevents me from my own personal luxuries so my animals can eat.

All in all, like I said... It's always something. Kind of like if I didn't have BAD luck, I wouldn't have ANY luck at all!

Yes, there are MANY days I just want to say "THE HELL WITH THIS!" thinking I could be on a vacation (um, what's that???) or living the easy life in the city- where my only focus would be yard work and housework...

But I just keep plugging along. Enjoying the small thrills when I have them.

Like a beautiful sunset (man!!! we get great sunsets here!).

Or a hummingbird on my feeder.

Or the horses running and playing at dusk, rearing in the air, and listening to their running hooves that sound like thunder on the earth.

Or having sheep that run up to you instead of run away from you.

Or hearing my boy say "pig" or "farm" or "cows" and know what each one is.

Or catching Monarch Caterpillars to hatch out into butterflies for my children.

Or teaching my little one what a toad is, and laughing when he yelled "MONSTER!!!" and ran the other way!

Or watching the wild turkeys graze in my pasture.

Or seeing the deer that cross almost daily.

Or seeing an animal recover from an illness because you used your skill to treat it.

Or hearing the first cry of a newborn lamb on a cold January night. Knowing because of your planning, that lamb was created. And because of your watchful eye, that new life was born without incident.

And lastly, sharing all of my experiences with my family and friends (even if they don't understand WHY I do it).

Those are the things that keep me going. Those instances are what make life feel the fullest.

I better stop rambling... It's time to go outside and inject the pig with more Penicillin....

"It's always something".