Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Little Mouse That Could.


Living a farm life has always given me a new meaning to the word "survival".  

We have outdoor cats.  The cats are king.
The cats are top predators.  Nothing is safe when a cat is around.  I can't even make the statement of "nothing SMALLER is safe when the cats are around" because I've seen the cats come home with field rabbits (dang near as big as them) hanging from their jaws. 
It's amazing the sick, twisted, sense of "normalcy" that has developed in me from seeing horrible stuff on a continual basis.  Like the day before yesterday. I saw that one of the cats came back from the field with a rabbit that was so large, I thought it was carrying another cat! There of course wasn't much of anything I could have done about it, what's done is done and cannot be undone.  So I left the cat to have its prize catch. 

They actually do a pretty good job of keeping their dinner table clean, and they always consume what they kill. The downside is that there are certain parts that they just don't eat, and I have to deal with the aftermath.  On rabbits, they don't eat feet or tails.  Just this morning I asked my daughter to pick up the back feet and the tail that we seem to keep walking around on the deck. (again, sick sense of "normalcy")  She didn't have an issue with it, they aren't "macabre" looking, they are just lil rabbit feet/fluffy tail. I was sitting in the kitchen at the time (starting on this blog) when she "danced" the feet in front of the glass patio door as a joke. 
Do I need to mention that sick sense of normalcy again???

One thing I've certainly learned over the years is to stop filling the "cat buffet" aka: wild bird feeders. They would sit underneath the feeders for hours on end waiting for a snack.  Another thing I've learned is that cats love to catch and eat frogs but they do not eat the bellies. Our walkways are always loaded with frog bellies. Another thing I've learned is that a cat can eat a rat at lightening speed. I've watched one take less than a minute to narf down a full sized field rat. 

On that note... 

Late last night, while sitting on my outdoor swing I watched one of my cats carry a small field mouse up from the open field.  She was making her usual "meow" as to let the world know what a good job she had done. When she reached the backyard she put the small mouse down. Long behold it was unscathed and still alive! And so I sat and watched the action play out...

The original cat that caught the mouse quickly lost interest in it.  Meanwhile, one of my other cats (an incredible mouser) came in to take over where the first cat failed.  The mouse would try to run, the cat would crouch down wait, let it run a bit, and then pounce on it. The mouse would wiggle free and try to flee. Again, the cat did the same as before; crouch, watch, pounce.  I watched that same action occur over and over for a few minutes.

and then....

That little mouse, though certainly exhausted, took a stance.  It had decided in THAT moment that it will not accept its fate to lay down and die. It had decided to fight.  That little mouse weighing no more than an ounce, decided to take on a 10lb cat head on.  The cat would grab the mouse with its mouth, then the mouse would wiggle like it was on fire, and bite until the cat dropped it.  Each time the mouse wiggled free, it would run a little closer towards the safe haven of the shed. Yet again the cat would grab it- it too determined to win.  Once the cat had realized that it no longer was a good idea to pick up the mouse (for each time doing so caused the cat great pain) There was fight of epic proportion.  The mouse stood on his little hind legs and held his ground.  While standing straight up, he bit the cat in the nose each time the cat grew near.  And when the cat retreated an inch or two, the little mouse in all of his glory, would run at the cat to bite HIM.  Each movement by the little mouse was strategic, moving him closer and closer to his freedom of the shed...

Did the mouse get away?? Did the mouse live to see another day?? Did the mouse get a second chance at life??

YES!!!!!!!!

         

      

Saturday, August 18, 2012

"Waiter! There's a fly in my Soup!"





I admit, *I* am a lowly server working in the food service industry.  For the most part I actually DO Love it! It's a great job for me! It's fast paced, active, mentally demanding, and mildly physical. The better the job you do, the more money you make. The bigger the smile you have, the more money you make.  The faster you are, the more money you make.  Everything about your income depends solely on YOU.  If you are having a bad day, your pay will reflect. 

Of course their are certain demographics that can pretty much guarantee a bigger payout. For instance, being female, a table of 6 men will give me a better payout then a table of 2 senior citizen women. A family with small kids will give me a better payout then 2 senior citizen men. Middle aged men?? SCORE!  Teenagers?? BUMMER. Creepy men that stare at you or your rear end?? SCORE!!

Like just recently, I had waited on a couple of middle aged, upper middle class men. A fellow waitress noticed that the one guy rubber necked right out of the booth to look at my "money maker" when I walked away from their table.  She thought that was the funniest thing ever because he is a regular (and generally not a creeper).  I am very body shy and turned completely red over this news (not to mention my "rump shaker" wouldn't be something I would give my OWN self a double take on! SOOOo not my best feature!)  After I crawled out from underneath my veil of embarrassment, we did have fun "setting him up"
(Oh look! I dropped my pen!)  just to see his reaction.

OOOohh The waitress games we play!
If you all only knew... *evil grin*

I don't mean to come off as shallow on the whole demographics thing, but let's face it. It's just business.  When you whore your smile for a living, you need to know what it's worth.

Any who, I do have a point in all of this,

Here we go...

One day, while working the day shift I was waiting on two late middle aged woman. They were friendly enough. No issues. They had both ordered a bowl of our famous chicken dumpling soup before their meals. Like any other ordinary order I fetched their soup right away.
I returned to their table holding two piping hot bowls of soup on a small round tray with my right hand.  With my left hand, I took the first bowl of soup off the tray, leaned over and presented it in front of one of the ladies.  As I leaned over the table to put the soup down in front of her, unbeknownst to me I leaned into the tray with the remaining bowl of soup...

(Um?? Er.?? How do I say this..??)

Ok, I will just SAY it!
I am NOT flat chested!
Call it a "gift", call it a "curse", kinda depends on how you look at "them"!
Personally, I'm not a fan. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a "Lop-a-boob-off-a-me" performed!

Meanwhile.. back to the soup...

As I leaned over the tray, my BOOB dunked in her soup!!!  I immediately stood straight up and started to laugh.  The lady whose soup it was meant to be saw it happen and laughed too!  

(oooh but it gets worse!)

I SERVED IT TO HER!!!!

I don't quite know what happened, if she said she didn't care or we were just too busy laughing about it.. but somehow it slipped my mind to actually replace the soup! Besides, it "dunked", I didn't exactly send it on a 500 meter lap swim in it. And I didn't swish it around the rim a few times either!

(oooh it gets even worse!!)

After I left their table with them both quietly enjoying their soup, I dried my shirt and moved onto other things. The next thing I knew that lady who is enjoying my "boob soup" calls me over to her table.  She is laughing so hard she almost has tears rolling down her cheeks.  She proceeds to tell me that in my absence she leaned over the table to reach for an item and long behold...

SHE STUCK HER OWN BOOB IN THAT SOUP!

There we were... laughing hysterically as I offered her more napkins to dry her shirt.

(Got a GREAT tip off that table!)