"Cougar"... Is that French for "Old Whore"??

Do you know how hard it was to find a picture of a Cougar without coming across a picture joke of some old lady with her breasts hanging out while looking like she is trolling the kindergarten looking for a date???

Oh Look! Here she is! Told you they're everywhere!

In four days, the biggest bomb of my life gets dropped on me. It is my 40th Birthday. Oh no, I said it out loud! (just typing the words is making my stomach feel queezy again!)  Can't I just tell you my weight instead?? I feel by far more comfortable telling you something that should be WAY more worse then measly AGE.

I just cannot believe how this ONE looming birthday has put me under so much duress that I feel as if my head is going to pop off- I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I can't think straight, I'm impatient, I'm easily rattled, etc., etc... 

Why do *I* have to be 40? I don't look "old" (or so I've been told), I don't act "old", and I don't feel "old".  Are we sure their isn't a major typo on my birth certificate? You know, it was published in Canada "Aye", anything is possible. (joke!)   

So now what do I do? The majority of my friends are significantly younger then me. Do I stop having & making friends that are younger then me because now I will look like a "creeper"??? I'm not saying I'm trying to be something I'm not.  Do not confuse me for immature. Because frankly, THAT I am not. I'm just outgoing & social.  But my mind keeps imaging an old SNL skit scene with a 20 something yr old man, wearing his old letter jacket to a beer party held by a bunch of HS kids. Is that what I look like? (Well...er... Minus the Penis). Or is the above picture what I now look like? A female "Cougar" dangling some candy out in front of her... "fishing". Well, theoretically she is using her boobs as candy. And yeah, she has way better boobs then I do! Amazing what money can buy! 

Crap. My train just derailed. I better get back on point.

What to do on my "Monumental Day Of Horror" has been on the forefront of my mind for the past week. I am tossed between two things; carry on and pretend like it's not happening? -Or-  Lay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head eating a gallon of chocolate ice cream- Wallowing in my own death.

Most people I know have a big whoop-de-doo at the local pub.  I don't want to do the bar thing.. I'm not very good at drinking, and I'm a lightweight.  That experience would be short lived leaving me home early and puking my guts out. Not exactly what I call "fun".  Not to mention I like dance clubs, not belly up to the bar, type of bars.  

So, I thought about disk golfing during the afternoon.  That sounded fun, and a lil non typical -spur of the moment.  (And that would leave the evening open to spend with my kidlets/fam). Unfortunately, it is very hard to organize an outing on a Tuesday afternoon when most of the general population works during the day/week. Plus, I didn't want to sucker people in with answering "Why" Tuesday. Again, not really wanting to acknowledge "My Death", having people only go because they felt obligated, or "sorry" for me :)  I am a firm believer in Free Will. You either can/want to go, or don't. It shouldn't matter the reason for it.  Or perhaps I didn't want to say "Why" because I just don't like being the center of attention. 

Hmm... Center of attention.... Maybe that's the true reason I didn't want to have a huge get together ?? It's possible. *poof!* Epiphany... 

It's amazing how much age plays a factor in life. Just the other day I was going to register for my first Triathlon.  But when I entered in my birth date, it registered me as being 39 (cause I am). It would have been a stupid move on my part to have registered then, and so I didn't.  When registering, everyone gets tossed into specific age brackets, 30-39, 40-49, etc.. From a competitive standpoint, I would have been one of the oldest in my age bracket come race day. By waiting until after my birthday to register- it makes me one of the youngest in my new OLD age bracket.     

YEAH!!!! Happy Birthday to me, here's your new age bracket. ((bangs head on desk)).

I admit, I've silently wished the Mayans would have predicted the end of the world to happen on Monday, June 18th.  That way I would forever be NOT 40. But instead, it is of course predicted for the winter months (if you believe that crap) and LUCKY ME- I will be 40 FOREVER.  *sigh*