I have not one, but TWO amazing children...
My "Small Fry" has a heart of Gold. He's polite, gentle and caring. He always uses his manners and isn't a daredevil. He's never been mean to anyone- ever!
My big kid, well.... ??? What can I say? For better or for worse, she's a carbon copy of me. She's wise, she's bold, she isn't grossed out by much of anything, she isn't afraid to try new things, she knows when to have a good laugh, and knows when to reel it in.
Because we are so much alike, it creates for some "interesting" situations...
*I* have a "thing" about Spiders.
I have NEVER been a fan of them.
When I was 5, my parents had a pet tarantula. Funny, I don't remember anything about being that young EXCEPT for that damn spider! I didn't like it! It was big, and hairy, and scary looking! I remember that my babysitter would always poke at it with a piece of the aquarium lid while it was in the aquarium. She didn't like it either.
I must confess, I've actually killed a tarantula!
When I was 16, I worked at a local pet store that sold tarantulas. One day while at work, I was trying to "show off" how brave I was to a customer by letting this $40.00 tarantula walk around on my arm. For some reason, (it must have sensed my absolute terror!!) it started to bounce up and down (in place) really fast on my arm. Unfortunately for it, my instant natural reaction was to fling it off my arm! It hit the floor at lightening speed- putting an instant end to its life. I never let one of those creepy buggers touch me again!
My fear of spiders runs deep!
While growing up in an old house it wasn't uncommon to have a spider in my bedroom. I could never bring myself to squish them because: 1. I didn't want to touch them, 2. I couldn't handle listening to its body crack into pieces. So I would do the next best thing... Coat them with anything aerosol that I could get my hands on, and hope that it would be enough to kill them. If that didn't work, I'd fry them with my Bic lighter!
Yes, I am the girl who would flip my car over a spider!!
When I was in my late teens I was the driver on a blind date one night. While driving, a spider dropped down from my visor headed towards my lap. Luckily, my date saved me from that menace before it touched me. I have no memory of that "date"- again, only the damn spider!
When my daughter was a baby, I was a stay at home mom. I was sitting on the living room floor playing with her when I looked up and saw a HUGE "wolf" spider on our living room curtain! That one was a MONSTER! It measured over 3 inches from tip to tip! How did I get rid of it??? I called my husband home from WORK to save us. (Unreal huh?? lol!)
Ok, I think you get the point of my Arachnophobia, back to my story!
I must confess, I've actually killed a tarantula!
When I was 16, I worked at a local pet store that sold tarantulas. One day while at work, I was trying to "show off" how brave I was to a customer by letting this $40.00 tarantula walk around on my arm. For some reason, (it must have sensed my absolute terror!!) it started to bounce up and down (in place) really fast on my arm. Unfortunately for it, my instant natural reaction was to fling it off my arm! It hit the floor at lightening speed- putting an instant end to its life. I never let one of those creepy buggers touch me again!
My fear of spiders runs deep!
While growing up in an old house it wasn't uncommon to have a spider in my bedroom. I could never bring myself to squish them because: 1. I didn't want to touch them, 2. I couldn't handle listening to its body crack into pieces. So I would do the next best thing... Coat them with anything aerosol that I could get my hands on, and hope that it would be enough to kill them. If that didn't work, I'd fry them with my Bic lighter!
Yes, I am the girl who would flip my car over a spider!!
When I was in my late teens I was the driver on a blind date one night. While driving, a spider dropped down from my visor headed towards my lap. Luckily, my date saved me from that menace before it touched me. I have no memory of that "date"- again, only the damn spider!
When my daughter was a baby, I was a stay at home mom. I was sitting on the living room floor playing with her when I looked up and saw a HUGE "wolf" spider on our living room curtain! That one was a MONSTER! It measured over 3 inches from tip to tip! How did I get rid of it??? I called my husband home from WORK to save us. (Unreal huh?? lol!)
Ok, I think you get the point of my Arachnophobia, back to my story!
One lazy afternoon last summer, while laying in my bed, I suddenly smelled a very foreign scent. It was such an "odd" scent that I cannot even begin to describe it. I sat up to search for the source only to realize that on my pillow next to where my head just laid was a brown marmorated "stink bug". These bugs are rather large, measuring almost 2 inches in size. They resemble a common box elder beetle (just bigger!) and are harmless.
So I decided to play a little "Joke" on my daughter...
I grabbed the stink bug with my hand, and headed to my daughter's bedroom.
She was lying on the top of her loft bed listening to her music. I got her attention, and then... wait for it....
I threw the bug at her.
It took her a moment to realize what the Hell just happened, but when she saw this huge bug on her it was like watching a cat on a hot tin roof! I don't think I've EVER heard her screech so loud or move so fast!
I of course was laughing so hard I just about passed out!
Just the other day while taking a shower I suddenly noticed that I wasn't alone. I was sharing my shower with the largest, blackest, jumping spider that I have ever seen! It was sitting right on the door hinge watching me! I was really on edge. I wanted nothing more than to be anywhere but in that shower!!!
Then my daughter just happened to come into the bathroom, so I told her about my "Pal"...
And what does she do???
She opens the shower door causing this lil bugger of death to drop down onto the small shower floor where I was standing!!!!
I FREAKKKKED!!!
(I came completely uncorked!)
If I could have scaled the shower walls I would have!
(Ok, I did become one with the side of the shower!)
And there sat my daughter... doubled over laughing hysterically, reminding me of that "one time" with the stink bug.. and she muttered something about KARMA as she left the bathroom.
No comments:
Post a Comment