"Barnyard Style!"

Go ahead, ask me... "Kill anything today?" 

Why Yes, yes I did!

And that leads me to my disclaimer: If you are feint at heart, stop reading here.

Being an only child growing up in a "firearms family" has taught me how to shoot from the time that I was knee high to a grasshopper, well into early adulthood.  I grew up hunting.  If I wasn't old enough to legally hunt, I was still brought along.  My parents even have stories of bear hunting, while dragging me along in the infant carrier!  I was like a typical boy growing up (funny, cause I'm obviously NOT a boy!), occasionally receiving guns as Holiday gifts.  I deer hunted with my family each year until I reached my early twenties. After that, I got tired of being cold, found the sport to be boring, and hated venison.  I never went hunting again...

The best part about farming is that you don't have to sit out in the freezing cold playing the waiting game in order to stock your freezer with meat. AND as a *bonus*, you don't have to eat venison!

Today, I learned a new skill! 

Today I learned how to slaughter a meat goat.

(Funny, because I had originally started out the day by doing a more female orientated domestic duty... laundry!)

Once I had decided that today would be the day, I started to collect the items that I would need:  Rope, to hang the goat carcass from a tree. Butchering knives; to slit the throat, eviscerate, and skin.  Rubber gloves to not get my hands full of "ick".  The 22cal. rifle, to do the "deed".  The book on basic livestock butchering (because I had never done this before!). And a piece of string, to tie off the bung hole.

All of the items were easy enough to find, except for the dang piece of string!!!
I could not come up with a simple 6" length of string. The irony is that all of my crochet yarn is in town at the apartment, and not here on the farm.  I thought about using fishing line, but then figured that it would just slice through what I was trying to tie off.  I thought about using a length of baler twine, but I thought because of its thickness, that I couldn't tie it tight enough to close.  I even looked for a shoelace, no luck.  I finally found my answer by taking a string from the strangest place- I took it off of a brand new Sheep Vaginal Prolapse Spoon (a plastic device used to keep the girly parts of a sheep inside where they are supposed to be while in late gestation).  We always kept a bunch on hand in case of need, and without any sheep left here on the farm-
Wahla! Found my string!!

I would be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't nervous about doing all of this.  Even though I grew up hunting, I never had to field dress my own deer. I was always the "leg holder" for my grandpa while he made efficient work of the job.

While drinking my morning coffee, I read and re read the areas of interest in the livestock butchering book.  (Aka: I was stalling! lol!)

Once I got my nerve, I gathered my gun, the goat's breakfast and off I went.  I knew that I wanted this to be as humane, and as quick as possible.  I didn't want the goat in any distress.  Distress causes an adrenaline dump into all of the muscles, creating stiffer meat.  When I got to the goat pen, the goat I was after was standing with his front legs on the cattle panel looking at me waiting to eat. I grabbed my gun and was going to do a point blank shot to the skull (draw an imaginary "X" between the ears and the eyes, meeting in the middle of the forehead- that's where you want to shoot), but I couldn't because I ran into one small problem...

He wanted nothing more than to lick the end of the barrel.

Now I know you are thinking "Awwwwe how sweet! How could you?" But don't. He wasn't a pet, he was a meat animal since birth. He was never gentled. I provided for him, he provides for me- Those are the rules. Besides, if I would have taken one step closer to him he would have run off like a marsh hare!

I stood there, drawn down on him for awhile waiting for the moment when he would finally put his head down, but it never came.  I knew this wasn't going to be THAT easy, so I grained the goats and waited for him to eat. While I waited I encountered another snafu, the other goats were eating nose to nose with him. Why yes, I had planned on putting the barrel on his head and pulling the trigger- but I didn't want to deafen the 3 other goats next to him.

Let me just stop here a second and say that in a perfect world I would have not had the other 3 goats present.  I personally think having them see what's happening is cruel.  But if I would have isolated the other 3, it would have made this goat really worked up, risking a bad shot because of him being so on the move and frantic.

Back to story... Luckily for me, he was a food hog and shoved the other goats out of the way.  And so I waited for the right moment.  After the shot. I gave it a few moments for him to do his thing. After which I grabbed his hind legs and dragged him out of the pen and into the backyard where I could slit his throat and drain him using a small hill to my gravitational advantage.

While I was waiting for him to finish draining I grabbed the book to follow the diagram on what to do next.  I read that I was to take the front feet off just above the ankle bone.  Having never done this before I learned really quick that this thing is more durable than I ever thought!  I guess I was expecting to take my boning knife, and after working my way around the joint, to be able to snap it off like on a chicken.  I expected WRONG!  After a couple of attempts I gave up on objective #1, deciding to leave the feet on, and moving onto the next task.

The next step was to peel the skin back from the front legs all the way to the shoulder.  I had to make an incision down the length of the inside of the leg.  OMG! What was this goat made out of? Steel??  Getting through the hide was tougher than I thought.  And I'm sorry to say it, but my definition of "Peel" is to like peel a banana.  I had one hand on the leg, and one hand on the skin while I tried to "peel" it back. I learned immediately that you cannot peel a goat like a banana.  You can't just pull the skin off!!!  SO I let that one go for now while I moved onto the next objective...

(I'm starting to realize that I'm NOT very good at all of this! LOL)

The next task on hand was to tie off the bung hole.
Um excuse me?? You want me to not only "touch", but  to also "cut loose" the anus?
You have got to be kidding me!
But I did it! I cut around the anus and pulled it out, so that I could tie a string around it to keep the poo from coming out and tainting the meat.

REALLY???
Out of the 3 objectives the only thing I had successfully managed thus far was tying off its asshole??

My next mission was to finish dragging it up the hill, through the backyard, to my rope over the tree branch. After I tied the hind feet to the rope I was starting to feel pretty good about everything.

Until I hit yet ANOTHER road block.

 I could not hoist the goat off the ground by the rope!!
I pulled, and pulled on that rope!  I wrapped the rope around the base of the tree to help me with pulling.  But I could not get more than a few inches of hoist.  (Pretty much the only thing I could do was get it in a vertical position) Crap!  Now what?? I NEVER thought that I wouldn't be able to hoist it up the tree all by myself!  Not that I think I'm THAT strong, it just never crossed my mind!  So I took a minute to think about how to problem solve this situation...  Then it hit me!  Use the 4 wheeler!! I had it all planned out, I was going to tie the rope onto the 4 wheeler and use that to hoist the goat off the ground to hang.  Genius!  WRONG! The 4 wheeler wouldn't start!  Ok, next plan... Use the riding lawn mower!  Again Genius!!  The rider took quite a bit to initially start in this cold weather.  Plus it hasn't been run in months.  But once I got it started I drove it down to where I was working, tied on the rope and drove it forward.

FAIL.
The rider couldn't hoist it either!
Once the slack was out of the rope, the rider's wheels spun in place.
Darn.

I realized that I needed to lighten the load.
Here we go... I decided to dress it.
Lucky for me and my curiosity, I have opened up plenty of animals over the years searching for the cause of death.  So this part was pretty easy for me!  While "gutting" it, I couldn't help but think that I should go into the house and grab a scalpel (my cutting tool of choice!) to make quicker work of it!  I was pretty proud of my dressing job!  I didn't puncture the stomach, intestines, or bladder.  And the rectum came out easy because of the earlier incision and string!  The only thing that I had wished for was a kid to now hold the leg for me!! Once the guts were out, I removed the head with a butcher's hand saw.

After I lightened the load, I tried hoisting it yet again by hand. I could kinda lift the bugger, but I couldn't hold the goat up, pull the slack out of the rope, and tie it off all at the same time.  Back to the lawn mower I went!  Because of there being less weight, I could pull it enough to get everything except for the ankles of the front feet off the ground before the rider pooped out.
GOOD ENOUGH!

Hmm... How do I untie the rope from the lawn mower, and tie it to the tree without losing everything that I had just done?? I didn't!  I used a second rope. I tied it to my original rope around the ankles and tied that to the tree!  Then I could put the rider in reverse, loosening the taught from the line without the goat falling back to the ground.  After I got it tied off, I inserted a stick into the chest cavity to hold it open.

Next up, skinning...
This wasn't such a bad job! It reminded me of weeding a garden...Mindless work. I admit, it was kind of fun to try and cut the skin away from the body without cutting into the meat. Notice, I said "Cut" and not "peel"?? lol!  The only thing that crossed my mind, were the people driving by seeing me do this.  The way my house faces, people can still get a clear view even though they are 300' away.  And with this goat being black and white, I thought; " Oh Great! Someone is probably thinking that I'm skinning a large dog!"

Given that it was my first time at skinning, my job wasn't perfect.  If you look at the solid hide you can see a few spots where I had gone through it making a small hole. And you can see a couple of thin spots of meat on it- where there shouldn't be.  But all in all, I'm pretty proud!

After I had the hide off, the only thing I had left to do was to make the carcass "cat proof".  The words "cat proof" and "bullet proof" kind of go hand in hand. Nothing can ever be bullet proof, it can only be bullet resistant. Same with cats...
To keep it out of cats reach the best I could, I tied a rope to the front legs, and tied that rope to the base of the tree. Right now the goat looks like a meat covered hammock with the way that it is hanging!  Not pretty, and not typical, but after all of that work of raising, feeding, and slaughtering,  I would be very sad to see it all become cat food.

All in all, today turned out to be one of those "I cannot believe that I did that" type of days.
I'm happy knowing that in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse (lol!) I would be able to eat.
I am SHOCKED at how "non icky" doing this slaughter was. Outside of getting a bit of initial kill "blood on my Uggs" (that's OK, they weren't authentic Ugg boots anyway! lol!) there wasn't any blood at all! There wasn't any blood, poo, or stink. I didn't even wear my rubber gloves (I wore my outside work gloves)
And the best part???

Hunting "Barnyard style" does have its advantages! No license required!            

             

       

Plantar Fascii.... FRUSTRATED!!!!

...Pass me another Advil please...

There is a saying in the horse world: "No Hoof - No Horse",
I've learned that this saying holds true in people too!
er? Just without the "hoof" or the "horse"!

I am a sufferer of Plantar Fasciitis.
What is that you ask??  (Here's a quick visual and explanation!)

Plantar Fasciitis is inflammation/tearing of the thick tissue on the bottom of the foot. This tissue is called the plantar fascia. It connects the heel bone to the toes and creates the arch of the foot.

Yup, that's what I have...Welcome to the world of sport's injury... it sucks!

It is no secret that I am "accident prone".
For instance, I wiped out at a bar (completely sober), tripping over a small rubber mat and falling on my face in front of a large group of people.  Or when I rolled my ankle in a restaurant in New Orleans, again falling on my face in front of an entire room of dining patrons (that one left my ankle black/blue and so swollen that I couldn't walk for weeks)  Or when I was Ice Diving, and while walking, I slipped on some wet slippery ice and sent myself flying (I was splayed out like Bambi on Ice with that one!) Or just this summer, I was on my bike at an intersection and I forgot to unclip my shoe from the peddle, and...you guessed it! Fell on my face in front of a bunch of onlookers!

I'm so accustomed to wiping out that all I can do is laugh when I do.  I'm pretty banged up and bruised on a regular basis.  If it's not from falling down, it's from banging into stuff, or by playing too rough.  Most of the time I don't even notice being bruised until someone points it out to me.  Scrapes and cuts I of course notice immediately :)

Those minor injuries don't bother me... But I can't say the same for my Plantar Fasciitis!

The first time I got PF was a few years back. I can't remember what I was doing at the time when I got it, and I didn't even know what it was.  I just knew that my foot hurt, and it hurt to bear weight on.  So I wen't to a Podiatrist who enlightened me on this condition.  I then wore special insoles inside of my shoes, I taped my foot, I wore a make-shift splint during the day, and I wore a splint at night.  I was fortunate enough at that time to not have to work, which gave me plenty of time to rest it in order to heal it.  This time around, I'm not so lucky.  I work on my feet 5 days a week, which gives me little time for it to rest and heal.

I raced this entire summer without having an issue with PF. After some races, I could feel it "coming on" and I just made sure not to injure it more by taking the rest it needed to recover. I didn't get full blown PF until I competed in that Duathlon in October (and I had just started working shortly before that).  I damaged the Fascia on my right foot bad during that race.  And there I was, back to doing my familiar walking on my tip toes with my right foot from then on out.

I admit, I am not the brightest bulb on the tree- cause after the Duathlon, I did another race two weeks later. (surely not helping my cause!)

Between my past racing, and present working, I just cannot get this to heal!  I have so many pairs of shoes, so many sets of PF insoles (sometimes I would wear up to THREE different sets in my shoes at one time!), neither helps.  I've even gone to a special shoe store to have my gait looked at to get a correct pair of  running shoes ($130 later.. no different).  I've done calf stretching, foot stretching, foot massages, wrapping and taping, resting, elevating, and cold therapy.  I've eaten so many Ibuprofen I'm worried that it isn't good for me. I've watched endless videos on correct walking/running to avoid PF.  I've read countless articles on the subject.  I've adjusted my gate to have a more "flat" foot strike on the ground.  I've tried to transition into a more barefoot approach by wearing my Vibram Five Fingers (my favorite shoes on the planet!!) to work.

But at the end of the day, I would curl up in a ball and whimper in pain.

PF- It's a life changer.
I've had to eliminate everything outside of my job.
Not that long ago, I started taking Kickboxing 3x's a week. Absolutely LOVED it!  But I stopped when I knew I wasn't doing my foot any favors by constantly pounding on it.  I tried to favor it the best I could during class (and I learned that I can jump rope on one foot, and even do one legged jumping jacks!), but as soon as class was over, I would limp home. Speaking of limp. I now limp everywhere... at work, walking in the morning, walking to the vehicle...etc.  I've stopped running (not that I was a fan of it before!),  and no more treadmill.  I can't even do the elliptical machine because it hurts.  Everything physical in my life has come to a screaming halt.

And to add salt to my wound,
Here's the kicker...
I'm junking out my left leg/foot because it is constantly compensating for my right foot.  My left hip, knee, and foot (which now has PF too) are always aching.  I'm also losing muscle and condition by the minute from not exercising.  Things are getting "wiggly-er"

Unfortunately, this is the way things have to be for awhile.  It's really sad for me to think about after all my hard work this past year.  I worked my ass off!!! LITERALLY!  But if I don't rest this the best I can, I will end up with more permanent damage then I have already done.  I will end up having Cortisone injections, or even surgery. Neither of which I want!

I'm really starting to wonder about my next race season...
I have already signed up for 2 out of 3 triathlons, and 1 out of 3 duathlons for 2013. And then there are the 5k's, and mud runs. I'm worried that my foot won't hold up and I won't be able to do what I love...Racing.

In the upcoming week I am going to start into things that don't put strain on my foot like; swimming, stationary biking, yoga, pilates, and weight lifting.  And hope to in the upcoming month to get back into more aerobic type exercising.

I will get through this, it just will take time. :)

 
   

  

Waitress Games... Part CUTE

Every once in awhile... 

(Hmmm... That just doesn't sound right! Ok, I need to rephrase!)  

Every once in a what almost feels like a LIFETIME, someone relatively good looking walks into the restaurant.

Let's face it, I work at a Family Restaurant.  Family Restaurants are generally not the "Hippest" place in town.  Outside of walkers, canes, wheel chairs, and crayons... Afternoon eye candy is pretty slim!  But when the Magic happens.... There isn't a waitress in the joint that doesn't stand up and take notice.  And the lucky waitress that gets to wait on this vision of beauty, is temporarily luckier than any winning lottery ticket holder!

Our day shift waitress clan is made up of all different walks of life. Some gals are happily attached, some are single, some are separated, and some are divorced.  Pretty much the same diversity as any other place of employment these days.

Just the other day, a good looking gentleman came in to dine with his female partner. Who knows what the relation was between the two, but they were pretty close as they had both decided to sit on the same side of the booth together. (Awwwwe.... how romantic!)  

One of the waitresses alerted me to him and had said that he had the "cuteness" factor going on. So of course, I being who I am, I wanted to check him out for myself!

There was only ONE problem. There was no way I could just randomly walk past their table because they were sitting in what we call "the tunnel".

The tunnel is a single row of booths that run down a long DEAD END hallway.  With a wall being on the left, the hallway only being wide enough to fit a waitress, and the row of booths on the right- There was nothing discreet about checking him out!  And to top it off, if it couldn't get any more impossible,  they were sitting in the very last booth.  Plus they had their backs facing to the rest of the room.

There won't be anything casual about the task!

Great,... How am I going to pull THIS off??
I had no business to be down that hallway, they weren't my table. And it would look really silly of me to just walk down to the end, turn around STARE and walk back!

But then my waitress friend made a valid point!  She reminded me that we keep the highchairs we are not using back there.  SO I grabbed my rag (whoops! It's a TOWEL, not a RAG- Waitressing 101!) and off I went to wipe down the highchairs!!

I felt SO guilty and stupid for being back there that I couldn't even look at them! I was less than two feet away from them, and as to not seem invasive I kept my back to them the entire time that I was cleaning off those chairs.  When I was done, I turned around and took a long hard glance at the man in question and went back to report my opinion.  Nothing obvious about that!

He was a nice looking dark haired, clean cut, shaved chest (YES!!! I NOTICED!!!) man.  Oh! He had a woman with him?? ...Never noticed... HA!

While my waitress friend and I were chatting about him, another waitress came up and had asked us what we were talking about.  After we had explained the whole thing to her, her human nature took over.  She then wanted to see this for herself!

But once again, the same dead end tunnel problem came into play.

SO we gave HER the Towel....
Did I mention we have the cleanest highchairs in town????? ;)