"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela
Yesterday I had participated in my first "Duathlon". This race consisted of a 3 mile run, transitioning into a 33 mile bike ride, transitioning again and ending with a 1 mile sprint to the finish line. This was my biggest race to date.
Let's see... How to start all of this... How about with some HONESTY?? :)
I am a Fraidy Cat.
Yup, it's true! There, I said it.
I have a pattern about me when it comes to "big things" in my life: I get the idea to do something, and then I commit to it. Then, as time moves closer to the event, I get extremely nervous about doing it. My reasons for getting nervous usually boil down to performance and fear. The day of the big event I've accepted what is to come and my nerves/fears have mellowed. The moment before the event, I'm always focused, and relaxed. My fears and nervousness are gone. Once I do the event, I'm always pleasantly surprised at either how much fun it was, or how well I did.
This time, this race was different... I was almost overtaken by my Fear.
I love cycling!
But there are 3 things about the sport I absolutely fear: Becoming "Bike Splat" (run over by some object), riding on wet pavement, and popping a tire. Two of which are the fear of dying, and the last one- well, that's a performance thing! Not sure if I can remember how to change a flat!
This race was the ultimate Trifecta for me when it came to those fears.
The weather forecast for the race was horrible! They were predicting cold temps., heavy rain at times, and high winds. Knowing this, I had spent plenty of days before the race thinking that these odds are not in my favor, and that I run the risk of getting seriously hurt. I had done quite a bit of debating to race or not to race.
The morning of my race, I was pretty "typical me" (I was pretty "Chill")
I was up at 4:30 am eating my pre-race oatmeal, I had accepted the weather, and had moved on to thinking about the race itself and strategy.
By 5:15 everything was packed and I was on the road for the 2 hour drive.
It took less than 30 minutes for my fears to kick back in! It was raining so hard that even with the wipers on high, you still couldn't see the road in front of you. (ahem, another "I'm going to die" moment! lol!) Luckily, I wasn't driving so I could shut my eyes and try to "Zen" it all out (didn't work! lol!)
2 Hours later when I got to the race it was still raining. I checked in, got my bib number, chip timer, and shirt. Even then I was still not convinced that I was going to race. But I knew that I somewhat liked the shirt I just got, and that I couldn't wear it in good conscience if I didn't do the damn race!
After hearing the race announcer over the loud speaker announce that the course was very slippery, I sat frozen from fear in the car for the next 60 minutes undecided if I should race due to what I had just heard and safety.
And then I saw the other racers...
Holy Cats were these racers fit!!!
Um? Yeah, they all looked like they just stepped off of the cover of a Wheaties box as Athlete Of The Year! I thought to myself; Good Lord? Were all of these racers "Elite Racers"? I then heard the same race announcer announcing that due to the slippery bike course, pace times would be slower for the race- they will be down from a 30 MPH bike pace, to roughly a 26-28 MPH pace.
I just about passed out when I heard that!!
A 28 mph PACE?? I can only make that speed on a steep downhill with the wind to my back! My non race pace is only half of that! I calculated how long it would take me to complete this race, compared that to the estimated times of the other racers, and wondered if the race officials would even
still be there when I got done!
And suddenly the fear inside my head just got a new best friend!
His name was EMBARRASSMENT!
There I sat, consumed by both fear and embarrassment trying to figure out what I was going to do. I weighed the reasons I wanted to race vs. quit. My reasons for racing were because I had signed up for it, my friends/family knew that I was doing it, and I was too embarrassed to turn in my chip timer and drive off having everyone see that I had just quit. My reasons not to race were because of fear, safety, and embarrassment of finishing way behind all of the other racers.
But my time was running out.. I knew that the transition area closed soon, and if my bike wasn't racked, and my gear in place- I wasn't racing PERIOD! Those were the race rules.
15 minutes before the staging area closed I had made my final decision...
GAME ON!
(and then I was scrambling because I had nothing ready!)
A friend of mine on Facebook wrote this to me: "Fear Is A Powerful Emotion. Ask Yourself What You Would Regret More."
I just COULD'NT be crippled by my fears!
It would haunt me forever if I quit without even trying. I may not be the best, but I am not a quitter. I may come in last, but I will do it with a smile- Because THAT is who *I* am.
...and that is what I did.
According to my Garmin, I had the BEST run time of my life! Granted, I think it was because all the other racers were SO much better than me, that I pushed myself harder. (Or perhaps it was because I was "Geeking" out to my favorite Dub Step station on Pandora! Awesome music always helps! lol!)
I finished my (first portion) run in 33 minutes, and 13 seconds. Of course I was last, but I didn't care! I was having fun smiling, jokingly telling the people that were marking the course that I was "bringing up the rear!" And of course I was the only person left in the transition area when I got there. No big deal, I didn't have to deal with the mass of people that all got there at the same time before me! I turned off my music (illegal to ride with during a race), changed into my bike shoes, downed a packet of energy gel, squeezed my wet hands into my bike gloves, helmet on, and off I went!
I was happy because the portion I hated the most was done!
My bike ride was "Interesting"...
(the cycling portion was two 16+ mile laps)
Right away race officials tweaked me out by telling me to be careful upon exiting the transition area because of the wet leaves on the pavement. Once I got going the first thing I did was test my wet brakes a bit to see how responsive they were. I was extremely surprised to learn that even though wet, they worked perfectly! While I was out on the highway, I had one mental rule: Stay off the road paint! Hitting that wrong would have been a sure fire way to end up eating concrete. I tried not to care about the cars whizzing past me, and I breezed over the bumpy, slippery, railroad tracks.
Once off the main highway, and onto the county roads where cars were few, I felt myself relax. I even spotted a racer about 300' ahead of me! So I concentrated on my technique; head down, elbows and knees in, push the peddles down, pull the peddles up. I also took advantage of the changes in elevation by shifting gears often and moving my body forward and backwards.
After a few minutes I did catch and pass that racer!
And then the hills started. It was never ending up hills! Each time I got to the top of a hill, there would be a short down hill then onto another even bigger up hill. These constant hills were tiring!
I even had to stand and peddle to climb up them!
After about 30 minutes, while coasting down a small hill I decided to take my first drink of water. When I went to replace my bottle back into its holder, I missed the holder and DROPPED my bottle onto the road. Uh! Really???? I've never dropped my bottle before, and now I do it in the middle of a race??? And so I stopped, turned around and went back to pick up my bottle. If I was a TRUE contender, there is NO WAY I would have ever stopped to pick it up! But dang it, this was one of my nice Camelbak bottles- and I wasn't leaving it! No bottle gets left behind! lol!
With that blunder, the racer I had passed earlier quickly caught back up to me. (I actually freaked her out, she thought that I wiped out because she saw me turn my bike back around after I had the bottle back). Her and I rode together for a few minutes and she made a very valid point! Out of the blue she said:
"We may be in last place, but we are beating everyone else who had decided to sit home
and not race today!"
And then she was gone. I performed better on the down hill than she did and I left her behind me.
LOVE the Down Hills!!!
The rest of the way was grueling!
This course was described as "Flat and Fast". Personally, I was really starting to wonder where the FLAT parts were! All I kept doing was climbing long inclines! Plus the winds were really strong, pushing me and my bike all over. It was still raining on and off, and the temperature was dropping due to the strong wind. I had head wind, wind from the left, and wind from the right, but NEVER wind from behind me! lol!
I tried to think positive!
This race was also described as "Scenic", so I looked around a bit. It was beautiful! The open fields, the fall colors, a couple of horses that ran the fence line as I rode by, a herd of cows quietly grazing in a field, and a winding creek that went in and out of the fall trees.
And then the "Beauty Bubble" popped and I was back to fighting hills, wind, cold, rain, slippery corners, and snot.....lots of snot. Trying to figure out what to do with that snot was a learning curve all in itself!
Thank GOD nobody was around me! I'm certain it wasn't pretty! lol!
At mile 12 I was really starting to feel fatigue settling in. I was chilled even though I was working harder than ever. With hill after hill, I wanted nothing more than to be done. I don't know how many times I contemplated stopping on the side of the road and waiting for someone to pick me up. But I continued to keep riding on. One of the hills was so tough for me that I had to get off my bike 15' from the top, and run up it with my bike in hand. Once at the top, I had to stop for a minute and take a rest before I rode onto the next hill, an even bigger one. The gal I had once passed, had now passed me up. After that minute I got back on my bike and continued on.
My most memorable moment came when the first place racer, who was finishing his second lap, past me and told me; "Good Job! Keep it up!"
At mile 15 I was in rough shape riding up yet another hill when there I saw the race photographer. (Oh great, this isn't going to be pretty!) Even though I was tired, I smiled and said Hello to him as I was riding by.
At mile 16 I was pretty much praying for death. lol. I just kept thinking how on earth am I going to do this entire lap all over for a second time!
And just when I wanted to quit, my saving grace came. I got to head back to the transition area instead of going the second lap. I found out that they pulled all of the race volunteers off of the bike course because the winds were over 20 mph. I wasn't the only person that completed just one lap (16.85 miles), there were quite a few others that were ahead of me with the same fate.
Even though I was exhausted, I was still happy. I re racked my bike, quickly changed back into my running shoes and finished my last mile to the finish line. I ran with the gal who I saw on the bike course for awhile. It was nice to finally learn her name, and a little bit of her story. I smiled and thanked all of the race volunteers as I passed them. I even "High Fived" a spectator!
I felt good when I crossed the final finish line. I had worked hard. I pushed myself harder than I ever had before. I felt that even though I was 16 miles short on my bike ride, I did the impossible. I conquered my fears and insecurities by getting out of the car, and saying "I'm Going To Do This!"
Of course I came in close to last, but that's OK.
My fitness level did not match the other competitors, and I'm very inexperienced. That was the very first time I have rode in the rain.
I was proud of myself for having the courage, and desire to TRY.
There were 110 people signed up for that race, and only 67 people competed in it that day.
My placing was 65th place. I was 1 of 8 people that were "one lap" competitors.
Here are my stats and the 1st place finisher for comparison (the first place finisher was a man 3 years younger than me)
My bike pace was 14 MPH, the first place finisher 28 MPH.
My bike pace was 14 MPH, the first place finisher 28 MPH.
My 3 mile run: 33:12 min./sec. (first place racer: 18:11)
My T1: 3:47 min/sec. (first place racer: :38 seconds)
My Bike: 1:16 hour/min. *16.85 miles (first place racer: 1:23 hour/min. *33 miles)
My 1 mile run: 13:11 min/seconds (first place racer: 6:59 min./seconds)
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